Ffs, literally just... FFS

I can't cope I just can't.

Im in a job I hate, with a boyfriend who hates me, living in a home I hate with the only sense of hope and joy being the one thing i destroyed.

Well done Juliet, you did great.

I'm writing so much now because it helps my head to get it out on the paper, I feel like once I've wrote it down I can be a tiny bit more clear or calm, at least distracted because I've said what i've needed to say.

My boyfriend who I am begging to live with, admitted that this is no longer about living with me but a transaction of profit, which I get, but it just shows his actions and life are swiftly moving on without me, and I can't fucking blame him.

He's completely within his right, but what do I say or do.

What does he want?

Although that's a question I've asked myself since I was 16, turns out the answer is hot curry and fast cars.

I just want all of this to end, I want life to finally just come together. But I'm the one that tore it.

So now I wish somebody would tear life from me.

Ffs I'm such a mope!