Life and death

People will be both the death and the life of you. Whether they be temporary or beautifully permanent within your life, they will be both the death and the life of you. This I've only learnt recently.

I have had so many temporary people in my life, people that have come and gone for a short amount of time with completely different purposes and intentions. Some have taught me not to be so naive, but the part of me that wants to believe everybody is good doesn't listen. Some have taught me NEVER EVER EVER to catch feelings for a fuckboy, (I use the term catch with intention, you see, catching feelings for a fuckboy is literally like catching a virus, you need o get rid of it as soon as possible!), some have taught me that no matter the outcome I tried and that is all anybody can ask for, so regret comes in spurts of naivety not ignorance of those that are but a mass of good intentions.

I'm 19 now and I know those who will be permanently with me, people who have left imprints on my soul and restructured semblance of faith and hope in my mind. A friend I don't get to see regularly but know that no matter what we will always be there for each other, who i love with every ounce of who I am. Somebody I've only met once, and may never see again, friends I'm currently living with, people that have accepted and encouraged the spiritual rogue brewing in me.

But regardless of the purpose each of these people come with, including yourself, what do I have to offer another person? this should not be an intentional manufactured thought but a conclusion for those to decipher for themselves. but regardless of peoples purposes somewhere in it, no matter how down trodden it may be, is a reason. I was meant to fall in love with somebody who it would never, couldn't ever work out with to prove to myself that i know only how to love with soul, body, mind and spirit. Everything that has happened was meant to happen to me so I could climb from my addiction and self harm and live to discover my love for writing.

Death and life are the ultimate contradiction but one cannot come without the other, to die tragically meant to live wonderfully, in its most painful, spontaneous, imperfectly perfect form. I think life comes with this manual of steps we must accomplish, marriage, kids, holidays, money, for some reason now success means blinding fame and a pay check with 5-6 0's at the end of it. When very simply, life is to feel everything in its most passionately curious ideal and live with the intent to follow your own purpose and choosing.

I could die tomorrow knowing that i have lived not a successful life, but a life discovered amongst its every offering .

All my love

JulietX